Movie Review: Boo (2005)

What can we say about another group of college kids stupid enough to spend Halloween night in a haunted hospital? I’ll tell you, why on Earth did I watch it twice?

Boo follows an unfortunate group of kids who decide to try and scare their girlfriends by rigging the local cliché, I mean abandoned haunted hospital with thrills and spills. What they don’t know is that the place really is haunted! Jessie, Kevin, Freddy and Marie make their way to the hospital which has been set up for the scares by Emmett. When they get there, Emmett and his dog have vanished. As they proceed through the house unaware of the ill-fated Emmetts misfortune, they discover more than they bargained for! Don't go to the Third floor!

Right, Storyline basics out of the way, Boo delivers very little in any department. Unfortunately, it extends so far that I think it even confuses itself. Absolutely no storyline to get involved in, zero characterisation and a script that makes little to no sense! As a viewer, I was sat wondering what was going on. First of all, we have the main characters, who have gone into the hospital for a bit of Halloween fun but we also have Allan, who has decided to sneak in to look for his sister Meg, who has been missing for two weeks (Part of the storyline that unfolds rather than rears itself in the beginning. The latter would have helped to build a bit of suspense but hey ho, I’m not a director) Anyway, Allan is joined soon after by Arlo, a former actor known for playing Dynamite Jones! Arlo now plies his trade as a cop and used to work with Allan’s father, apparently. Another part of the storyline which was raced over but if they had taken a little more time would have helped to build some level of characterisation!

As far as the acting goes, none stand out. And I mean NONE. They all believe the script about as much as I did and they delivered it with even less conviction! Wooden from the get go and I feel no empathy for any of them. The script itself is trying to be something it’s not. It may have worked well in a good “thinker” but not in a low budget horror flick like this one!

Through all the dust and debris, the only glittering beacon of hope can be found in the apparitions. Not all of them but the ones in the darkness and the shadows. When a flicker of torch light glances past a dark corner and we see the little girl ghost for example. That was very well done. Some however look like they are electronically charged or something but for the most part, the special effects are reasonably good. This leads me to believe that with a better script, fewer “main” characters and about 45 minutes cut off the running time Boo would have been a good film. As it is, I will not be watching it for a third time but it stands as a great example of why low budget horror movies should stick to what they do best! Deliver all the above without the involvement of complicated storyline and dialogue!

Released: 2005

My Rating: 3

A cold night in Y2K

It was a cold, dark night in North Yorkshire when I stumbled into my local none descript video rental shop to browse the latest releases. Back when it was cheaper to rent movies than it was to buy, DVD's were the latest (expensive) offering and as such, the VHS enjoyed a twilight period thanks to a massive reduction in prices.

It was during this very period that I found myself handing over £3.99 in exchange for the rental of The Blair Witch Project for 2 nights. I made my way home, turned all the lights off and got myself comfortable.

Having seen The Blair Witch Project previously at the cinema, I was fully prepared for the following 82 minutes but that didn't sway my initial opinion. It was as good the second time, if not better. I have found that this film seems to get better with each viewing. From the eerily simple opening to its breathtaking ending, it always delivers. The main things that get me though are the little sounds... The ones you couldn't hear in the cinema, or on that poor quality VHS. Sounds which can only be truly heard and therefore appreciated when heard through full 5.1 Dolby Digital Surround Sound!

As the film progresses, the three unfortunate filmmakers' feeling of  utter panic is perfectly translated and even though at this stage, everyone knows that it was all a publicity stunt, we still feel empathy for Heather, Mike and Josh. Three brilliant performances from three unknown faces. Sheer brilliance on the film makers’ part and the publicity was beyond anything we had seen before. Love it or hate it, no one can deny the timeless effect and originality that The Blair Witch Project brought to the table.

Maybe Cannibal Holocaust was a forefather to The Blair Witch but where that one failed, Blair Witch succeeded. Unfortunately for every film that followed, using the internet in the same way was out of the question. The world would need a new kind of originality to surpass the efforts of this film!

So now that we are clear on that, I will continue... Once the camera had fallen and Heather had stopped screaming. The rolling of the film was the only sound left before..... Silence. As is always the case, I sat. Rooted to my seat. Even as the credits scrolled up the screen, I couldn't bring myself to reach over and illuminate the room by switching the "big light" on. So I sat. Waited, in the hope that when the credits had finished, the VHS would kindly rewind itself ready for me to return to the video shop.

A flicker, light... Beyond the final credits was some kind of life. What followed was 7 minutes that would stay imprinted in my mind from this day until the day I rediscovered it while trawling through You Tube.

Horsehair. A brilliant surreal black comedy which after a tiny bit of research (and reading what they wrote on their You Tube description) I can tell you was made in Scotland in 1998 and had a decent run on the festival circuit. Directed by Duncan Nicoll and starring Alastair Mackenzie, Horsehair is follows the fortunes of Mick as he begins finding strange strands of hair in places you wouldn't expect. Very dark, funny and creepy all at the same time. Horsehair came as a welcome bright spot after the darkness of credits.

It seems so funny now that things in this day and age have come to a point where I can say; to see what I saw over a decade ago and watch something which I thought was lost when the VHS died, check out Horsehair below. Hopefully you will enjoy it.

Upcoming Movie: Familiar

Another good looking Horror Short to sink our teeth into. This one is brought to us by the guys over at Fatal Pictures. Their previous offerings, Consumption (2008) and Worm (2010) fill us with confidence that this fledgling production company can keep the quality coming. Let's hope that a feature is on the cards in the not too distant future.

FATAL PICTURES is proud to announce "FAMILIAR", a new Horror short starring Robert Nolan, Astrida Auza and Cathryn Hostick as the seemingly idyllic yet ultimately doomed Dodd Family.

Written/Directed by Richard Powell, Produced by Zach Green (FATAL PICTURES) Cinematography & Co Producer Michael Jari Davidson shot on RED Digital Cinema. Special FX for the film provided by Ryan Louagie, Carlos Henriques & Steven Dawley (The Butcher Shop)."

Through a series of tragic events a middle aged man grows to suspect the negative impulses plaguing his mind may not be his own!

For more on Fatal Pictures visit their website: www.fatalpictures.com
Follow them on Twitter: @FatalPictures

Watch this space for review....

Movie Review: Hell Asylum (2001)

Make of it what you will but there has to be something in the fact that this film received a second viewing! Having purchased it from my local bargain DVD shop some years ago for a huge £1.99, I found myself giving it further scrutiny. My belief is that you can never fully appreciate any film until you have seen it for a second or sometimes even a third time. However that logic can go out the window with some of the films I watch.

However you look at it, Hell Asylum was in my eyes at least good enough to warrant this immense honour. I suppose it was the sight of Joe Estevez in the opening scene that triggers something in your mind that says “It can’t be that bad, that’s Martin Sheen’s little bro!” A quick visit to IMDB finds my staring at a long list of “random” horror films. It is his known for films that include Soultaker, Beach Babes from Beyond, San Franpsycho and Death Row which really puts pain to my statement! But... There is a silver lining. My Estevez is on screen for approximately 5 minutes, right at the beginning and right at the end. What happens in the middle is actually really good!

The film centre’s around a new reality TV show called The Chill Challenge in which five girls enter a supposedly haunted house and whoever can last the whole night wins $1Million. The five girls in question consist of Stacy, the wuss, Rainbow, the Goth chick, Amber, who appears to be fairly normal, Marti, a fitness freak and Paige who loves herself a little too much. Funnily though Paige’s real name is Paige Turner! (It made me laugh)

The character build up is very good. A reality TV style introduction gives us all the information we need to know about the characters. Not drawn out and boring, just straight to the point and insightful. I am not quite sure about the producer Max’s back story for the haunted house. It says the house was built in 1850 and turned into a sanatorium at the turn of the century, firstly not very original (thoughts of The Haunting and House on Haunted Hill) and secondly that house looks like a hospital from the 1950’s rather than 1850’s but I will give them the benefit of the doubt this time!

The term over the top take on new meaning with some of the acting in this film but some performances do help claw back some credibility, most notably Sunny Lombardo (Rainbow). With the exception of Debra Mayer (Paige Turner) the cast are not too bad. Sorry to say that Mayer’s performance is bordering on dire which considering she is the first billed begs the question, why?

The special effects in Hell Asylum range in their quality. Some very good imagery leads to some poor anatomical effects. I am not quite sure what was being pulled out of the dead people, maybe Spaghetti or something but plenty of blood to try and hide the whole thing does seem to work. Some poor “whooshing” sound effects and the music sometimes drowned out the dialogue but the music used was quite good.

The overall production value is quite shoddy, understandably the headset mounted “cam” shots are supposed to be quite poor to be realistic but they should have spent a little bit more on equipment and bit less on casting Martin Sheen’s brother!

Although Hell Asylum weaves its way through a fairly unoriginal story, it is definitely one of my little gems and well deserving of its second viewing. If you approach your films the same way I do, I would definitely recommend to anyone as one to watch and hopefully you will enjoy it too.

Released: 2002

My Rating: 6

Movie Review: Growth (2010)

Let me start this review with a small question.

Do scientists really have these fancy islands somewhere in the world where they can all get together and plan tomorrow’s world?

To be honest, I have seen enough films with instances of this to know that it must be true (films say so). Anyway, Growth is another example of why I write this blog. Not to discover the best horror films but those which don’t cost an arm and leg to make, don’t boast the biggest Hollywood stars and above all else show real promise.

It seems that the only thing Hollywood can put out in this genre is sub-standard remakes and rubbish exorcist rip-offs (for the record, the original was rubbish too) but within the world of low budget independent horror, we find a great deal of “promise” and every now and then we do find those little gems which makes it all worthwhile.

To be perfectly honest, Growth is not without its charm but sadly it lacks a little sparkle. The story starts in 1989, the residents of Cuttyhunk island are experimenting with parasites in an attempt to help speed the evolution if humans along. They hope to create healthier, stronger and smarter humans. Unfortunately something goes wrong and most of the islanders are killed. One of the survivors was Jamie, a young girl who was sent to safety after the death of her mother.

Twenty years later and Jamie is returning to the Island in order to sell of the land she has inherited. Little does she know that something even worse is about to be unleashed upon this small island!

As far as the films storyline goes, it pretty much puts a tiny twist on the alien parasite movies such as Slither and The Faculty. It is not terribly original but as a whole, it has its moments. For the most part, the cast are rather good. Mircea Monroe plays the aforementioned Jamie. Christopher Shand plays her step brother and unfortunate host, Justin. While Brian Krause, Nora Kirkpatrick and Richard Riehle round off the cast.

While Growth does have its moments and a few glimmers of hope, the whole feel of the film is rather poor. Zero characterisation besides the lead and a very slow pace with absolutely no suspense let the whole thing down. A word of note must be made regarding its special effects, which were excellent when you consider that the whole film had a reported budget of just $300,000. A very modest sum of money to make something that if nothing else, looks good!

Taking into account all of its drawback and its positive points, Growth doesn’t quite reach the heights that maybe it should have done. If only someone had believed in it a little bit more and pushed some more coiffeurs into the purse. Unfortunately, they didn’t but never mind, what we have is an acceptable little thriller. If you want a creepy or gory horror film, stay away but if you can find it for £1 (Like me) then I would say give it a watch, you might like it.

Released: 2010

My Rating: 4

Movie Review: The Ruins (2008)

As much as I should really criticize this film, I find myself on the fence. Despite being full of tired clichés and possessing a storyline which essentially is a combination of two other films, The Ruins was still quite enjoyable. The two films I refer to are The Beach and The Descent, to anyone who has seen these two contrasting films, you will immediately connect the dots upon watching this film.

The Ruins starts off on the slow side, picks up in the middle and sadly falls away towards its conclusion which starts to resemble a mediocre creature feature. A group of friends, Jeff, Amy, Eric and Stacy are vacationing in Mexico when they are joined by a mysterious stranger, Mathias. Jonathan Tucker, Shawn Ashmore, Jena Malone and Laura Ramsey play the group of friends and Joe Anderson plays the mysterious stranger. Mathias tells the group about an unearthed, previously lost Mayan pyramid which must be seen. They all set off in search of the rather poorly hidden “lost” pyramid but on arrival they run into a couple of armed locals and things turn bad fast!

Initially, drugs must be the cause for the concern as the pyramid is covered in what appears to be marijuana plants although none of the characters seem to make that connection but looks can be deceiving and some unnerving horticultural delights turn this film into something fairly different.

The cast cope rather well with the lacklustre script which does very little to bolster the below par “copycat” storyline. Stand-out performances from Tucker and Ramsey whose characters complement one another perfectly as Jeff (Tucker) is going to med school to become a Doctor and Stacy (Ramsey) decides to perform a little D.I.Y surgery in one of the best visual scene’s in the film. Shawn Ashmore who is perhaps best known for playing Bobby “Iceman” Drake in the X-Men films does a good enough job at playing a role totally different to that of Iceman but he fails to really make a name for himself with this one.

Needless to say, The Ruins meanders through its chewing gum storyline with very little to worry about. Not enough empathy is built up for the characters who, as I have said try their hardest to make this film everything it could have been if released ten years earlier. A very good production value and some visually impressive shots keep you watching but that’s where it ends I’m afraid.

Like I said in the beginning, anyone who has seen both The Beach and The Descent will probably not be as impressed but through its unoriginality, some glimmers of hope can be seen and this is always enough for me to justify watching.

Released: 2008

My Rating: 5

Movie Review: The Killing Room (2009)

What happens when you can’t be bothered to walk upstairs and get another DVD from the office? You end up flicking through the movie channels. Fortunately for me, The Horror Channel is free with the full Sky package. If you like lesser known horror films then you can often find something enjoyable on there.

Well anyway, by chance I tuned in just as The Killing Room was starting. A quick check on IMDB revealed the cast list and I was sold. Peter Stormare, Clea DuVall and Nick Cannon were enough to convince me to watch.

The Killing Room follows a group of people who are participating in what they think is a Psychological study, it soon becomes apparent that they are involved in something far more sinister. Peter Stormare plays, as he invariably does, a shady foreigner (Not xenophobic, just an observation) Nick Cannon plays a quiet participant as does Clea DuVall. The remaining test subjects are played by Academy Award winner, Timothy Hutton and Shea Whigham. The whole thing is rounded off with the new recruit to Stormare's secretive agency, Chloë Sevigny who is being rigorously put through her paces in a job interview to top them all!

The Killing Room's plot focuses on a secret CIA research facility which looks to be continuing the work from the 1950's and 60's known as Project MKULTRA. This projects' goal in reality were ultimately unclear but the film can take any approach it wants. On the one hand you have a valid study to try and use mind control (as valid as that can be?) but on the other, you have various techniques involving torture. However you look at it, it’s no wonder why there was so much fuss surrounding the original studies in the 50’ & 60’s. I will say if you like conspiracy theories, have a little read. It's quite interesting.

The film's dialogue leaves a lot to be desired but the very able cast more than makes up for that short coming. Some very convincing performances, most notably from Hutton who plays the "been there done that" character and despite the lack of personal involvement, his character, Crawford may be the one the audience connects with the most. Cannon plays Paul Brodie, a seemingly quiet kid who is looking for a bit of fast cash. His character grows throughout the film and ultimately becomes one of the main protagonists. All in all I think the whole cast gives a good performance and one which you can feel sympathy for. Let’s face it, if you don’t feel empathy for the characters then someone isn’t trying hard enough! The customary OTT performance from the brilliant Stormare finishes everything off nicely.

Despite not really being a horror film, The Killing room does have its shock moments and it is one that I would have bought if I had seen in the shops. Having done the rounds at Sundance and then (I believe) released straight to DVD it didn’t receive the kind of publicity that maybe the cast should have demanded. This was very unfortunate as I really enjoyed it and would thoroughly recommend it to anyone who enjoys atmospheric thrillers.

Released: 2009

My Rating: 6.5

Movie Review: Frailty (2001)

Frailty was a film that I owned for a long time before watching. My version was from Germany and was known as Dämonisch (Demonic) which I must say distracted me somewhat and for a long time, I was unsure what the film was. (I have a lot of films from Germany which have slipped my notice because of changes in titles)

Frailty, by all accounts seemed to pass by relatively unnoticed to the masses. With a comparatively small budget and equally poor box office return, it remains one of those hidden gems bordering on cult.

After watching the film I fail to see how it is not more widely regarded and praised. Bill Paxton's directorial debut takes us through a passage of belief and extremism. The film centres around flashbacks during a confession. With the FBI searching for the Hand of God killer, Fenton Meiks (Matthew McConaughey) gives his childhood accounts which would point to his own brother being the killer. Bill Paxton plays the father whose sudden "vision" takes him and his two children on a murderous ride. Totally driven by the belief that God is speaking to him and giving him the names of evil people or "demons", who need to be destroyed. Paxton plays the father and believer to great effect with some of his actions bordering on child cruelty and the two actors who play the children, Matt O'Leary (Fenton) and Jeremy Sumpter (Adam) are fantastic in their respective roles.

Although this film is somewhat different from the usual films I write about in this blog and not so much horror but a thriller. It is the perfect film to illustrate why I started this blog in the first place. Great film, well made and brilliantly acted but just because it's not in anyone's published "Top" lists it doesn't mean it shouldn't get the recognition it obviously deserves.

In fact, I make such a compelling argument that I have just talked the misses into watching it again tonight. If you have ever wondered and then decided against watching this film, do yourself a favour and give it a try. You will not be disappointed, I promise.

Released: 2001

My rating: 8

Horror! Part 2: Fangs, Claws, Tentacles & Jaws!

Definitely one of the widest ranging categories and one than spans various different genres itself. I will, obviously focus on the more horror orientated creatures. As the title suggests, these films feature, in one way or another, to put it plainly, creatures. Some are beyond the realms of Earthly origin and others are simply "giant" versions of creatures we know. Some are more close to human than you might think but all have played a major role in the films we watch today. A more apt description in terms of the Horror genre would simply be Monster Movies!

This genre covers more films than I could write about with less than 400 pages so I am going to give a brief history. Sorry to anyone who can think of films not mentioned but like I said. A Very large genre!

The early to mid 20th century saw the real ignition of Monster Movies with titles like Frankenstein, Dracula and The Lost World. We can immediately see how diverse the category is. With these three films alone we cover a scientist and his creation, based on the book by Mary Shelley, a Count trying to move to England from his native Transylvania, based on the book by Bram Stoker and a world inhabited by dinosaurs, based on the book by Arthur Conan Doyle. A little something for everyone and notably all follow a very similar trend. All these early monster movies are based on classic literary works. So I suppose, in retrospect all Monster movies that followed can trace some roots back to the early films laid out in black and white. Some more so than others but great credit must be given to the early pioneers of the fledgling art.

Understandably for the movie producers of the day, once they found something that was selling they didn't stop there! Out rolled the prequels, sequels, spin-offs and re-tellings. Dracula alone has spawned dozens of sequels and re-makes, as well as hundreds of spin-offs including the "generic" vampire movies that have graced our screens. All exist as a result of this one story which was written in 1897.

Now, I know in Part 1 I said I wasn't going to include Vampire films but I have had a slight change of heart and I am going to amend that statement. I am not going to mention any Vampire movies which I consider to be anything other than Horror. In other words, I am only going to include "Classic" Dracula pictures and this includes the Hammer Horror Films of the 60's and 70's.

I suppose one of the most iconic images of Dracula can be found in the first Hollywood production to include the character. The 1931 Universal film, Dracula featuring Bela Lugosi. Anyone who has read earlier posts in my blog may remember my review for Plan 9 from Outer Space. Which I must admit, took on a bit of a Lugosi love-in rather than a simple review of the film.

Some may argue with me but I think there are only really three actors who have made the part their own. Mr Lugosi here, Christopher Lee and although it may annoy a few people, Gary Oldman.
The great Bela Lugosi will always be remembered for the role, he was even laid to rest wearing the trademark cape.

Cristopher Lee cut a very imposing figure in the Hammer Horror Films. First appearing as Count Dracula in 1958, Lee played the Count a year after his first Hammer appearance as Frankestein's Monster in The Curse of Frankenstein. He would go on to play Dracula several times in Hammer films. Though with varying succes but none matched the success of the '58 original.

Many other actors have taken the role but with the possible exception of Max Schreck none have really stood out. Schreck portrayed Count Orlok in what is considered to be the very first adaptation of Bram Stoker's Dracula, Nosferatu, which was released in 1922. This silent German film did not secure the rights to the book so the names were changed and parts of the story tweaked but it isn't hard to find the similarities. However you look at it, Nosferatu is a creepy film and another which gives us an iconic image of cinema history and Vampire evolution. I have had this argument and you may not agree with me but I think Vampires are closer relatives to Zombies than any other Monster. The Zombie genre, however deserves its own little place, hence Horror Part 1 - Zombies.

Right. Enough of the Vampires for now. We have so much more to discuss. As you move up through the Hollywood years we start to see a lot more weird and wonderful creatures. A Giant Ape in King Kong, a strange beast mutated by nuclear radiation in Godzilla and another which, much like the Vampire films have a long and successful history in cinema. The Lycanthorpe. A mythological shapeshifter known better by it's common tag... Werewolf!

The first mainstream movie to feature this folklore was Werewolf of London, released in 1935. However, it wasn't until a few years later when Lon Chaney, Jr was transformed into The Wolf Man that, in movie terms, we were introduced to a more traditional Werewolf.

Later still in the evolution of the Lycan was An American Werewolf in London. Directed by John Landis, the film was monumental for its horrendously painful looking transformation scene. A scene which makes American Werewolf in London a timeless classic. Landis even directed Michael Jackson's epic music video, Thriller. The opening transformation of Michael Jackson into the Werewolf bears great similarities to that of his earlier film.

Like Vampire films, Werewolf movies have been done with varying levels of competency. The Howling, based on a book of the same name was released in 1981 with mixed reviews but the franchise spanned 14 years (so far) and included 6 sequels, none of which should really be connected to the original! Dog Soldiers on the other hand is a fairly modest British number which above all else is just a fun film. Others have tried and we have even had the great legend of the war between Lycans and Vampires played out a few times in films like Underworld and Van Helsing. Neither of which are Horror films, I am merely illustrating the variants.

Moving swiftly on from Werewolves, another to feature heavily in the Monster genre are Aliens. Now, I know what your thinking... This "small" piece on Monsters/Creature Features is starting to turn into a generic Horror category. Well, Yes. I suppose it is but all for good reason. While the Horror genre is vast, most movies can be sub-categorized into one of about four categories. Creature Features/Monsters (Which also includes Zombies), Slasher/Splatter, Psychological/Paranormal and Thriller. So without further ado, let me continue.

Where were we? Ah yes, Aliens.. Alien films come in so many shapes and sizes. The more "Horror" angled Alien films however can be bundled into a nice little package.

Without question, one of the scariest Aliens, if not one of the most horrifcally unthinkable images to ever grace my eyes... The Xenomorph. Quite simply one of the most elegant but deadly things to be plucked from the consciousness of a human brain! The Xenomorph is a race of aliens, totally predatory with no reasoning skills what-so-ever. To make matters worse, they bleed acid and have two mouths! Put quite simply, the stuff of nightmares. 

We were first introduced to this bitch in 1979 with the release of Alien. Depending on your opinions, Alien is either one of the scariest films ever made or just a warm up for the action packed sequel (My Opinion is clear, See Top 10 Horror Films)
For me, Alien represents everything that is scary about the unknown and not to mention an unadultarated male fear of childbirth. John Hurt was the unfortunate soul who first harboured the embryo before its painful birth unto the deck of the Nostromo. Fear, panic and genuine shock lace the actors faces as we see the parasite in the flesh for the first time. Alien was followed by three very good sequels and two rather luke warm spin-offs, not to mention tons of books, games and fan made stuff! Ridley Scott certainly mastered the Sci-Fi genre but perhaps unwittingly with Alien, he gave us something else! He gave us a film that would invoke fear in the guts of many for generations to come.

When we discuss Aliens in Horror, we can't be restricted to this one franchise however. Another great example of this genre cross-over can be found with a remake. The Thing. Released in 1982, maybe not so much a remake of the 1951 film, The Thing from Another World. More of a re-telling, based on the novella, Who Goes There? With the prequel not doing so hot in the cinema's, John Carpenter's 1982 offering certainly delivers the fear factor. Set in Antartica, a group of researchers have to deal with a parasitic lifeform which can imitate the appearance of those it kills. Released three years after

Alien, the two films actually share a startling resemblence to one another. Both feature a skeleton crew of people battling some kind of parasitic lifeform which ultimately turns into something unimaginable and horrific. In the case of The Thing, however, the form it takes on has a more morphed feel to it.

Moving on we can find many, many more Horror/Sci-Fi films with weird and wonderful creatures or Aliens as the main antagonists. Another predator that must be mentioned is, of course, Predator. A humanoid alien with high intelligence and vastly superior technology and all it wants to do is hunt! I must say however, that while Predator is not traditionally a horror film, I am giving it special mention because of the appearance of the alien. Perhaps one could argue which is scarier, its beautifully crafted face mask or the hideously ugly reality beneath. Either way, the Predator has formed an integral part of the genre and along with his Xenomorph counterpart, has given us two spin-off films. Aliens vs Preadator and AVP Requiem. Neither are horror films but there is a connection.

Other Alien films give us a slightly different angle. One of suspense and anticipation. Signs, directed by M. Night Shyamalan, who lets face it, has had a bit of a tough time convincing the masses since impressing so much with The Sixth Sense. In my opinion, Shyamalan is a one of the most under appreciated directors of the current generation...
Anyway, Signs. An alien invasion movie that had me gripped all the way through. Perfect story telling and some very jumpy moments. Others however, have come from a more.... intrusive perspective. Species, is about an experimental hybrid. Human DNA crossed with Alien DNA and the result is a super hot seductress. She mainly appears in her wholly human form but occasionally we see a more other worldly look. After escaping from her creators, she hits the main populous with one thing on her mind; mate with a human and breed.

While we are on the subject of Aliens, we must not overlook those fuzzy little fur balls... Critters. 

Although more Comedy than anything else, the Crites themselves serve as another example of Aliens in cinema. Clearly based massively on the back of the success of Gremlins, Critters was very succesful itself and spawned three sequels. On that logic, I must also mention Gremlins right about now. While Critters where clearly from outer space, Gremlins are more folklore than anything else.

Lets bring it back a little bit closer to home. Whether its 65 million year old dinosaurs or giant crocodiles, Earth can provide just as much horror as the unknown expanses of space can.

If we consider Monsters as something which, in themselves are scary and not so much about the film being scary then we can't overlook Jurassic Park. Based on the Novel of the same name by Michael Crichton, the film itself, although brilliant is not a horror film but who wouldn't be terrified at the sight of a 20 foot tall Tyrannosaurus Rex with teeth the size of your hand or being stalked through a kitchen by a two Velociraptors? Jurassic Park did give us some things to think about. With that in mind, anyone familiar with Raptor, may argue that Dinosaurs are simply unbelievable in modern cinema and have no place in the Horror genre! You might be right. From a land before time straight back to something which can actually kill us in the here and now...

In 1975 a film was released which, with two simple music notes can send shivers down your spine and is instantly recognisable. Is it, of course, Jaws. Although the shark itself didn't look overly convincing in parts, its ghostly silhouette just feet below the surface of the water invokes a fear that can only really be felt when looking at something that could, really eat you! The best parts of the film follow an unhinged fisherman, a cop and a shark specialist isolated onboard the Orca in search of a killer Great White Shark. Safe to say that with the music and the fish itself, Jaws didn't only scare on its original release but has continued to do the deed up to this day. While many Shark films have tried, in my opinion Deep Blue Sea is the only one to come close but it still has a long way to go to beat the best.

Deep Blue Sea mixes the shark element with the human element. A gene research experiment gone wrong creates three super fast, extra intelligent Mako Sharks. A modern day slasher with animals, the death scenes are much more elaborate and gory and the storyline is certainly one for movie fans my generation. Other Shark films include the disastrous Shark Attack and Sharks in Venice. And sometimes the movie world dishes out it's own lab rat. Sharkman delivers two of the planets most deadly predators in one neat little body. The name says it all really. Sadly, another failure for the Shark department!

When we talk about creatures that exist today that could kill us, we automatically assume two things, Sharks and Crocodiles. Lake Placid sees us in the lovely state of Maine chasing a 30 foot long crocodile. As funny as it is scary, Lake Placid had a good cast and great effects. Another Croc film for the list is Rogue. An independent Aussie flick which didn't fare too well in the US box office but performed better globally and has very favourable reviews from most people. Another is Crocodile, released in 2000, this was actually directed by Tobe Hooper. Hooper shocked the world with Texas Chainsaw Massacre but fails in all attempts with Crocodile! The list of Crocodile films is very short but I think we get the idea with Lake Placid and Rogue.

Snakes can also enter this category but like Crocodiles and Sharks, in very limited numbers. Anaconda, released in 1997 was a massive success and a film I very much enjoyed. Beyond this we have films like Copperhead, Python and Snake Island but one that really deserves mention is Snakes on a Plane. Starring Samuel L. Jackson. This film is beyond ridiculous but highly entertaining.

Sharks, Crocs and Snakes. One thing they have in common, when they find a successful beginning, they milk it. Jaws spawned three sequels, Lake Placid has two with a third on the way and Anaconda has three! Jaws 2 being the only film of note from any of the franchise sequels.

Before I end this article, I must write about a few of the worlds tiny creatures. While sharks and crocodiles look fierce and could eat you alive, there are another group of creatures which scare the world over, Spiders. Arachnophobia was released in 1990 and played on our fear of spiders brilliantly. Even now, when watching the film I find myself frantically itching my head and getting that tingly sensation. I know there's nothing to be scared of, its just an involuntary thing that we all do! Many other films have featured insects or small bugs but this one is a great example of how to do it the right way!

I suppose I should wrap it up now. In conclusion, this genre covers a lot of different films from totally different places and as I mentioned in the beginning, far too much to write about without creating a large illustrated History of Film! One thing is for sure, while other sub-genres of the Horror pool may be scarier, Monsters serve the film world very well and give us endless hours of great escapism and lots of fun.

Horror! Part 1: Zombies

The word horror gets thrown around a lot these days. It takes a dozen sub-categories just to describe the most. For that reason I thought I would do a few short pieces on what definition I would give to the term Horror Film and some of the things they offer the hard working movie fans!

With Zombies, Creature-features, Psychological, Supernatural even Thrillers, it is very difficult to come up with something definitive but from my experience, Zombie films are great fun but never really scary. Creature-features are always tongue in cheek. For me, the scariest are the supernatural and psychological Thrillers. Sorry to anyone who is wondering where Vampires fit into this. A very simple explanation, they are not Horror films, never have been but with the recent spate of Dawson's Creek with fangs, they slip even further down the totem pole.

Part 1: Zombies: A personal favourite of mine and one that offers so much entertainment. From the greats of cinema like Night of The Living Dead and 28 Days Later to the laughable Zombie Strippers and not forgetting, my good old friend and possibly one of the best zombie films ever made, Shaun of the Dead. There is not much that can't be found in this world.

The genre that gave us this classic image of Zombie vs. Tiger shark in the brilliant Zombie Flesh Eaters, was the poor little brother of the horror world for so long. With the world fully embracing Slasher films, Zombies were left to gather dust on bargain shelves across the globe. However a recent surge has seen it thrust firmly in the mainstream and no longer resigned to mere Cult status. The afore mentioned Shaun of the Dead showed us that, while Zombies films have often had elements of comedy, they can be all out funny, kick-ass films too. The self proclaimed Rom-Zom-Com certainly tips the cap to George Romero! At the same time, breathes new life into the world of the undead by introducing it to a whole new breed of movie fan.

 

As much as films like Zombie Flesh Eaters and Shaun of the Dead help to strengthen the genre, we are subjected some total garbage too. Quite possibly the worst film ever made, Zombie Chronicles and others like House of the Dead and Zombie Nation are always there as a reminder of how bad things can get.

Although we have the good and the bad, what about the ones in the middle? The average chomps of meat? Well, that pool is rather full! Flight of the Living Dead dishes up over the top thrills and some good zombies. All played out on the deck of a passenger plane! What’s not to like?
We also have the numerous offerings from the Return of the Living Dead franchise. They can just to say keep their heads above water, or ground in this case! Rave to the Grave being one of those, somewhere in the region of the fifth installment. No matter how terrible it is, it will never fall as low as Zombie Chronicles!

The Zombie world has been treated to a few remakes or reboots. With varying results it must be said. While Day of the Dead did nothing to compliment the original, Dawn of the Dead was done so well, it might just surpass its daddy! Day, starring Mena Suvari and Nick Cannon offered very little in the way of retelling a classic story or even putting a new twist on it. Dawn however does both and it does them brilliantly. Perfectly capturing the essence of Romero's original. With some great moments of it's own... One being the sniper taking out the celebrity look-a-like zombies from the roof of his gun shop! Pure Awesomeness

The new breed of the undead are smart, intuitive and FAST! 28 Days Later not only gave us one of the creepiest openings to a film, it also gave the infected super speed and unrivalled aggression. Gone are the slow, lumbering shells. Replaced with flesh hungry predators!

 

No matter what the future holds for the Zombie film, whether we will see re-makes galore for years to come or continue to marvel at the strange world born on to us from Haitian voodoo roots and stories of zombie slaves? Wherever it takes us, we have a great back catelogue which we can always call upon in our hour of boredom!

So in conclusion, I am not sure we can really call Zombie films Horror. I personally think the term "Zombie Film" says all we need to know.

There are a lot of Zombie films out there and while you may not agree with this list, Hell, I may not agree with it in the morning. This is the best I can come up with at this moment in time:

10. White Zombie

9. Resident Evil

8. Dellamorte Dellamore

7. 28 Days Later

6. Day of the Dead (1985)

5. Shaun of the Dead

4. Dawn of the Dead (1978)

3. Zombie Flesh Eaters

2. Dawn of the Dead (2004)

1. Night of the Living Dead



Part 2: Creature-Features, Coming Soon.

Movie Review: Granny (1999)

Play nice kids!

Ok, let me start this one off by saying, The Misses bought me this (Thank you) along with The Salena Incident and Knock Knock. So, I wasn't expecting much.... To be perfectly honest, I was expecting a certain level! Unfortunately, Granny did not serve up the cookies this time!

Calling this a film is so far from the truth, you might as well call it bananphone! In reality, Granny is a 25 minute long short-film that has had every scene stretched to breaking point in order to hit that 60 minute mark as advertised on the DVD case. Maybe they printed the cases before finishing the film and just had to make the time up to hit that target. Whatever the reason, watching the eight supposedly college friends sitting around talking about random crap was rather excruciating! To make it all seem a bit less interesting, they don’t even appear to be drunk or for that matter anywhere close to being college students! Quite literally the first 16 minutes of this film are them sat around talking about nothing. The camera switching from wide shots to close up's and back again until I was frantically pulling my hair out screaming at the screen. Almost doing the unthinkable and fast forwarding the DVD!

As it turns out, the whole 60 minutes thing was a bit of a blessing, although it would have been better if they hadn't bothered really. I know it may sound a bit harsh and it goes against everything I believe but Granny doesn't give anything to the world of horror. It cuts a lonely figure, reminding us that Scream is still the best in the class when it comes to this sort of teen driven slasher film.

The cast give new meaning to the word wooden, as they fumble their way through the flimsy script, which doesn't really help their cause. Normally in these types of films, we are at least treated to a few one-liners. Sadly, all Granny serves us, is a steadfast reminder of how not to do it. It beggars belief that anyone in their right minds could watch this film and be taken away to that world of imagination and make believe! Even the terrible granny mask and flowing long hair aren't enough to bring a smile to the face and the mask is usually the go-to for bit of praise!

With everything I just said in mind, I was quite pleasantly surprised by the double-barrelled twist at the end. I won’t give anything away (Just in case you want to gouge your eyes out watching this) but after sitting through 59 minutes of this film, we are finally given something resembling my old friend, quality! Despite this not being enough to claw back any respect, it didn't seem as much of a waste of my time as it had originally looked.

Granny, serves up very little in the way of gore, sprecial effects, storyline, acting. Well anything really. It is quite easy to see how this remains Boris Pavlovsky's first and only effort in the world of movies.

Other than the last 30 seconds, if there was anything on a positive note I could say, it would be that the production value isn't terrible and the needles through the glasses did get a chuckle! That’s it. I apologise to Boris and the rest of the production crew of Granny as they obviously put in minutes of hard graft to get them to agree to put this onto a DVD and actually selling it to sane, good heated people in the real world!


Released: 1999

My Rating: 1.5

Movie Review: Broken (2006)

Yet another film from the collection that got looked over again and again but on one rather gruesome night which also included Cannibal Holocaust I decided to give it a try.

A young woman awakes to find she has been kidnapped and is now trapped in the woods with a psychopathic loner. As well as making her perform sordid acts, she must also save herself from ridiculous situations which, if she wasn't hell-bent on making sure her daughter was ok, would be enough to finish anyone off.

One rather stomach clenching scene involves a razor blade and her intestines... I will say no more! The cast, as limited as the story allows are brilliant. For 99% of the film we only have interaction from two characters. Both are played perfectly. Nadja Brand plays Hope, the woman caught in this wicked trap and Eric Colvin plays "The Man", Hopes abductor and keeper.

The film mixes a great blend of suspense, gore and atmosphere and despite being very low on funding; the production value is very good. They did a wonderful job of pulling everything together with the atmosphere. Very little dialogue to speak of (Ha ha) but that didn't really matter. Just a few glances or a small gesture of the hands from either character gave us enough to know exactly what they were thinking.

I did mention that this film was watched the same night I finally built up the courage to watch an unedited bootleg copy of Cannibal Holocaust for the first time. In fact, Broken was a warm up to that little gut-wrencher. However, if I had known just how gruesome Broken was in parts, I may have swapped them round. Having said that, I am not sure if I could ever watch Cannibal Holocaust again. Parts of that film are now permanently burnt into my brain and will haunt my dreams forever!!! Only messing, if you have never seen it. Go and watch it, it is certainly one that any sick, twisted Horror fan should watch.

Anyway, back to Broken. There is little else I can say about it without revealing the entire script or some very good shock moments. All I will say is if you ever get a chance to watch this low-budget gem, do it. You will not be disappointed. It is quite disheartening that with films like Saw and Hostel doing so well, this little exploitive number didn't really see the light of day before being sent to the back of class but I would certainly put it in their league. Especially Hostel which wasn't really that good! Just saying.

Released: 2006

My Rating: 6

Movie Review: Plan 9 from Outer Space (1959)

Ed Wood's "Classic" has taken a few batterings down the years. Without question his biggest film but also considered to be one of the worst films ever made. Well... I saw this in the local unnamed generic Pound Shop and chomped at the bit. £1 for a classic was far too good a deal to pass up.

 

Having only ever known Bela Lugosi as the star of real classics like Dracula and White Zombie, I was quite intrigued to discover why this outing had such a bad reputation.

After researching the film, it became abundantly clear;

 

This was the last film of an underappreciated career for the Hungarian master. One which sadly, he did not see through. Lugosi died of a heart attack during filming, so footage from some of Wood's' other side projects, which also featured Lugosi were used. They brought in a replacement actor to do the filler. However, not to very good effect as all scenes involving the stand in were shot with him covering his entire face with a cape.

Sad to say that Lugosi's legacy is a much more modern sentiment. As a hard working actor in Hollywood during the 30's, 40's & 50's, Lugosi battled low paying jobs, drug addiction and of course, he was a foreigner at a very difficult time for world relations. Quite possibly his and one of the fledgling arts' most iconic moment came when he donned the cape and fangs of one Count Dracula in 1931. A role which saw him earn a measly $3,500, which in today's inflated market comes in at just over $46,000.

Lugosi's role in this film will possibly stand out in his career but for all the wrong reasons. Plan 9 is a science fiction film with so much promise and a decent idea, just very poorly executed. You can forgive the flying saucers with the clearly visible string and the cardboard sets but one thing that can never be forgiven is the continued use of the same scene over and over as we see Bela Lugosi walk through the graveyard again and again and again.

As with most films of this era, it was all about the voice over guy. Even with its ridiculous plot, you can almost hear the voice now "Unspeakable Horror's from Outer Space! Paralyze the Living and Resurrect the dead!!!" he says in his prime theatre tongue. Some special mention must also go to Vampira, a.k.a Maila Syrjäniemi plays an instantly recognizable "Vampire Girl" with sharp nails and pointy eyebrows. Everything the average 1950's person would imagine a female vampire would look like.

Plan 9 from Outer Space is a relic of the Sci-Fi genre that never really knew which direction to go. Zombies, Vampires? Who cares? After all, the Undead are the Undead. With a shoestring budget and a notoriously bad director, Plan 9 has become a laughing stock of 50's Hollywood but fear not. This film falls perfectly into one of my favourite categories... Cult. A True Cult Classic

Released: 1959

My Rating: 5

Movie Review: Knock Knock (2007)

Wait... I know this one!

Ah, another cheap and cheerful slasher film from the very bottom of the bargain bin! This one sadly, belongs where I found it. With an unknown cast and a small budget, sometimes you can still come up with something a little more original!

Knock Knock boasts a standard revenge/slasher plotline filled with red herrings at every turn. Unfortunately it appears that the writers gave up and completely missed their opportunity for one of those glorious things in slasher films... A Twist. It was like they literally just ran out of ideas. Some of the death scenes are rather imaginative, if a little overcooked by the epilepsy inducing camera and editing department.

As for that unknown cast. Only one actor stood out in the whole thing, Antonio Mastrantonio, who plays the lead's grandfather and retired cop. Desperately trying to get back into Nikki's life. He soon teams up with rookie cop/hooker, Det. Billie, played ever so subtly by Kim Taggart. Her performance is so realistic, you could be forgiven for thinking that she was really on the job.... What? She wasn't playing a lap dancer? Well.... She could have fooled me. The only other actor worthy of any mention is Sal Sirchia who plays the somewhat troubled Janitor, Troy. Originally the chief suspect but it soon becomes clear, to the retired cop that is, that there is no way Troy could have committed these murders.

As for the rest of the onscreen performances you might not be far wrong for thinking that the extras were completely oblivious to the fact they were being filmed. Some very shocked and surprised looks when they notice a camera! So that’s it, two stand out's and one pair of legs make up the cast.

The director clearly chose to aim the film down the gory, shock route rather than building any sort of characterisation. We feel absolutely no empathy for the young teens as they gradually get picked off one by one. Another area of particular note... During the flash back scene, we are supposed to be watching two young teens doing what boys do and playing with army figures. The only problem is they must have filmed it quite late in the day because one of the boys is sporting a very impressive 5 o'clock shadow!

The film’s production value is not the worst I have ever seen but some really shoddy camera work does seem to make the whole thing feel very amateur. As far as low budget slasher films go, I am glad I watched it but I can’t say I would be in any major rush to watch it again.

Released: 2007

My Rating: 3